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"Your Zodiac Sign May Have Changed" (…and it did)

Excerpts from a recent article found whilst trolling the internet at work (thank you MaureenOConnerpleasedon’tsuemeforplagiarism):

"Astronomers have restored the original Babylonian zodiac by recalculating the dates that correspond with each sign to accommodate millennia of subtle shifts in the Earth’s axis. Prepare to have your minds blown, all you people with easily blowable minds.

Here is the zodiac as the ancient Babylonians intended it—with the dates corresponding to the times of the year that the sun is actually in each constellation’s “house”—according to the Minnesota Planetarium Society’s Parke Kunkle:

Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16.
Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11.
Pisces: March 11-April 18.
Aries: April 18-May 13.
Taurus: May 13-June 21.
Gemini: June 21-July 20.
Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10.
Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16.
Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30.
Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23.
Scorpio: Nov. 23-29.
Ophiuchus:* Nov. 29-Dec. 17.
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20.

* Discarded by the Babylonians because they wanted 12 signs per year.

I was born a Virgo, and because that’s the shittiest sign in the zodiac, I have long refused to believe in astrology and forbid my loved ones from believing in it, either. (My anal retentive need to destroy an entire worldview because I do not like my role in it is, I am told, part of my Virgo nature.) If I’m really a Leo, though, who knows. [Star Tribune, Fox News, WTHR via LadyE. Image via Shutterstock.com]”

Well.  Now I’m a Ophiuchus.  I wish I could pronounce that.

I mounted my own investigation, because although I enjoy being a Sagittarius (I wish I could properly spell THAT one), I never really seemed to fit in with its description of me as “adventurous,” “brave,” “outdoorsy,” etc.

According to another site:

LIST OF KEY WORDS DESCRIBING THE SIGN OF OPHIUCHUS

  • interpreter of dreams, vivid premonitions,
  • attracts good luck and fruitful blessings,
  • serpent holder, lofty ideals,
  • a seeker of peace and harmony,
  • doctor of medicine or science, natural-pathic,
  • adds, increases, joins, or gathers together
  • poetical, inventive nature, expanding qualities,
  • seeks higher education and wisdom,
  • overseer, supervisor of work,
  • fame - either grand, or completely misunderstood,
  • longevity, aspirations of healing the ills of man,
  • architect, builder, reaches for the stars, figuratively and literally,
  • tax assessor, or levys taxes,
  • astrological talents, intuitive,
  • large family indicated, but apt to be separated from them when young,
  • the number twelve holds great significance, 
  • foresight and good fortune to benefit from hard times,
  • has secret enemies in family or close associations,
  • many jealous of this subject,
  • notable father, apple of father’s eye when young,
  • high position in life expected [depending on aspects] highest fame and legend comes after death
  • feelings of granular, wise, genius mentality,
  • likes to wear clothing of vibrant colors, and plaids in particular,
  • receives the favor of those in authority.

Holy Snookie.  I guess I AM an Ophi-what-what!  (err…minus that tax crap.)

I’ve found my place in the universe :-)

Stuff From Dad

Proof that the state I live in is:

A. Just as humorless as Georgia

B. Great at wasting the ample taxes I am providing it with to do something useful like govern

C. Making the road just a little less amusing

D. Punishing creative people/the kind of folks I would probably enjoy being friends with

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